Now, I know and you know that this is an odd recipe to share in the height of a very warm Summer, but there is method to my madness.
1. We had had a salad week – that is, one piece of protein and lots of salad. I wanted something filling, darn it.
2. I fancied a substantial pudding but couldn’t bear the thought of an oven blasting away.
3. I saw a pot of tres posh ‘made-with-the-eggs-of-a-golden-hen-and-milk-from-the-Queen’s-cow-and-a-pod-of-vanilla-plucked-by-a-tame-cheetah’ custard and it was cheap. If someone else had bought it, they might have poured it over something horrible.
4. I had a dreg of raspberry jam in the bottom of the jar and the jar was annoying me in the fridge. It kept getting in the way. It even fell out of the fridge that morning, so its fate was sealed.

So, actually, this is an extremely sensible recipe for the height of Summer because it takes moments to make, doesn’t require an oven or hob and is jolly nice to eat after endless days of what is essentially the ritual munching of humans on glorified grass otherwise famed as ‘seasonal eating’. Seriously, I am this close to going off beetroot again. Don’t even talk to me about feta.

If you cannot stand the thought of eating a hot pudding in this weather, then be kind to yourself and print it out for Autumn. Having such a quick option for a pudding that usually takes hours to steam is invaluable.
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Put the butter, caster sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder into the food processor, switch it on and blend to mix

Give it a scrape to get the stuff that always, but always, hides under the blades, then add the zest and juice of a lemon and a drop of milk – around a tablespoon – to get a nice dropping consistency.

Grease a 2 pint pudding basin and put about 3-4 tbsp raspberry jam in the bottom of it

Spoon/pour the mix on top and cover with clingfilm, but be sure to leave one part naked for the steam to escape

I have an 800watt microwave and full power for 4 minutes turned it into this bouncy, golden offering:

Leave it to stand for a good couple of minutes to allow the radiation to disperse (I don’t buy the ‘continuing to cook’ theory – if it ain’t witchcraft, then it’s radiation in my book), then do the ‘plate on top and wahay! flip it over’ trick. In fact, I generally do the ‘wahay! flip it over trick’ into a bowl to catch the scalding jam, but I’m cautious like that.

Cut a wedge, serve with custard and…

enjoy.

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Speedy Sponge Pudding

adapted from a Gary Rhodes and a James Martin recipe – I’m thorough.

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150g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
125g butter, melted or extremely soft (plus some to grease the pudding bowl)
125g caster sugar
2 eggs
zest and juice of a lemon (very nice ineed, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you didn’t have one to hand)
a drop of milk
4+ tbsp raspberry jam or any other jam, or lemon curd, or golden syrup…

Grease a 2 pint/1.2 l pudding (pyrex, in my case) bowl. Spoon 3-4 tbsp raspberry jam into the bottom.

Put the melted/very soft butter, sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder into the food processor and blend to a paste.

Add the zest and lemon juice and mix, add a drop of milk to achieve a nice dropping consistency.
Spoon/pour the mixture on top of the jam – the jam will try to move around, but just ignore it. Cover it with clingfilm, leaving a gap at one edge for the steam to escape.
Microwave on full power (my microwave is 800 watts) for around 4 mins, until the sponge is bouncy and has pulled away from the sides of the bowl.
Let it stand for a couple of minutes, then turn out.
Add some extra jam on top if you like, then serve in slices with custard, cream or ice cream.

Liquid Autumn.

Warming, vaguely sweet, easy and delicious. My butternut squash cost me £1 and I have a saucepan full of soup that will freeze well, so I should have added economical to its list of attributes.

I love this pretty colour.

Peel, remove the seeds and chop up your butternut squash. Mine weighed 1 kg.

Peel and chop an onion, then put a drizzle of oil and about 1oz salted butter in a large saucepan. Heat to melt the butter, then add the onion and saute until translucent.

Add the butternut squash to the onion and continue to cook, stirring now and again for about 10 mins. It starts to blur at the edges and gets a ‘butternut squash being fried’ smell when it’s ready.

If your squash weighs less than mine did, reduce the stock you will add – you don’t want it watery. But if we’re in the same kind of weight range, add 1 litre of chicken stock, put on the lid and bring to the boil. Then reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20-30 mins.

If you’re particular about the thickness of your soup, add less stock to begin with because you can always add more to water the consistency down after you’ve liquidised it.

It’s ready when tender and can be mashed against the side of the saucepan.

If you want to live on the edge, cautiously stick your hand (stick) blender in and blitz it. If you are more sensible, you might like to let it cool down.

Silky, velvety smooth

Maybe a grind of black pepper, maybe even a drizzle of cream, but how ever you look at it, it’s Autumn in a bowl.

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Butternut Squash Soup

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1 butternut squash, peeled, seeds removed and chunked
1 onion, chopped
drizzle oil
1 oz salted butter
1 litre chicken stock

Melt the oil and butter in a large saucepan.
Saute the onion until translucent.
Add the butternut squash and cook for a further 5-10 mins until it’s softening at the edges and you can smell squash, not just onion.
Cover with a lid, add the chicken stock and bring to the boil.
Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20-30 mins or until the squash is tender and can be mashed.

Cool and liquidise – I use a hand (stick) blender.
Serve with a grind of black pepper and maybe a drizzle of cream.

Freezes well.

I’ll admit, my cheese sauce is nearer cheese fondue than cheese sauce, but I reckon that cheese sauce needs to taste of cheese, not hint at it. Unless macaroni cheese tastes of cheese, I see no point in making it. None at all. In fact, I’m getting twitchy at the thought of it.

There’s only one thing better than macaroni cheese and that’s macaroni cheese with bacon in it. Walk this way…

Preheat oven to GM8/250C/450F

Put 1 tsp oil into a small frying pan and fry the bacon until it is golden and delicious. Turn off the heat and leave to one side.

Put the pasta into the boiling water and set the timer for the minimum cooking time suggested.

Get a small saucepan and melt 1 3/4 oz salted butter

Add 3 1/2 tbsp plain flour and 1 tsp mustard powder. Stir it in to make a paste and cook for a couple of minutes to ‘cook out’ the flour.

Take the saucepan off the heat and start to add the milk. Once you’ve blended in about half of it, return the pan to the heat and continue stirring, adding the rest of the milk.
Continue to cook, stirring, until the sauce thickens. Add a pinch of salt and some white pepper.

Once it thickens, turn off the heat and add 4 1/2 oz  grated cheddar. It will melt into the sauce by itself and can sit and wait for you.

Drain the al dente pasta and put it into a casserole dish. Add the cooked bacon and stir to combine.

Give the cheese sauce a stir, check the seasoning and pour it over the top. Give the whole thing a good stir.

Sprinkle some more cheddar over the top and put into the oven for about 15-20 mins.

Turn the oven off and turn the grill. Put the dish under the grill until golden, frazzled and irresistible.
(If you don’t have a grill, just leave it in the oven for longer, but make sure the dish is at the top of the oven for maximum heat!)

Ready?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Bacon Macaroni Cheese

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125g bacon bits, or chopped streaky bacon

1 3/4 oz salted butter
3 1/2 tbsp plain flour
1 tsp mustard powder
400ml/14 fl oz milk

4 1/2 oz cheddar, grated plus more to sprinkle over the top
s+p

200g penne or any other pasta shape.

Preheat oven to GM8/250C/450F

Put 1 tsp oil into a small frying pan and fry the bacon until it is golden and delicious. Turn off the heat and leave to one side.

Boil water for the pasta and put it in to cook for the minimum recommended time. It will be al dente when cooked.

Whilst the pasta cooks, in a small saucepan, melt the butter.
Add the flour and mustard powder, stir well on the heat to make a paste. Cook, stirring for a couple of minutes.
Take the saucepan off the heat and start to add the milk. Once you’ve blended in about half of it, return the pan to the heat and continue stirring, adding the rest of the milk.
Continue to cook, stirring, until the sauce thickens. Add a pinch of salt and some white pepper.
Once it thickens, turn off the heat and add the grated cheese. It will melt into the sauce by itself and can sit and wait for you.

Drain the al dente pasta and put it into a casserole dish. Add the cooked bacon and stir to combine.
Give the cheese sauce a stir, check the seasoning and pour it over the top. Give the whole thing a good stir.

Sprinkle some more cheddar over the top and put into the oven for about 15-20 mins.
Turn the oven off and turn the grill. Put the dish under the grill until golden, frazzled and irresistible.
(If you don’t have a grill, just leave it in the oven for longer, but make sure the dish is at the top of the oven for maximum heat!)

We love celery soup. Celery is a fine thing; tall, proud and distinctive tasting, but heat mellows it, rounds the edges, seduces the non-celery lover into a helpless admirer. Marvellous. Neither Ian nor Alex are fans of raw celery, but they both love this soup. Really, they LOVE it. What’s even better? It couldn’t be easier to make.

Peel and chop a medium sized onion and put it into a large saucepan with a drizzle of oil and a tbsp of salted butter.

On a medium heat, saute it for 5 – 10 mins until it’s softening and beginning to colour.

Acquire a head of celery

Argh!

OK. Then chop it up and add it to the softening onion. There will be leafy bits in the middle – fling them in as well and stir around.

Then reach for a medium sized potato. Peel it (I only had a huuuuuge potato, so I cut it in half)

Dice it up and add it to the celery and onion.

Saute and stir until the vegetables are beginning to get into the groove- just getting a bit warm and interested.

Heat about 500 ml of chicken (or vegetable) stock and add it to the veg.

Give it a good stir, then cover it and let it simmer away.

How long to simmer it for depends on lots of things – how woody the celery is, how large you chopped everything; but reckon on around 30 mins. Start poking the veg at that point anyhow, to see that they are all tender.

I then cool it overnight to let all the flavours come together, but that’s more out of convenience. There is nothing stopping you from liquidising and serving it straight away.

I pour the soup into a large bowl and use my stick blender. Mine is cold here so all I have to worry about is getting splashed, but if you’re doing yours straight away, do mind that you don’t get scolded.

Serve in mugs or bowls, season to taste and if you wish, add the merest dribble of cream and swirl it through to make pretties

or just stir the drizzle of cream through and serve with some sweet potato bread.

Instant veg into kids, but cunningly slipped under the radar.

If it’s too thick, simply add some boiling water and stir that through, but do check the seasoning. If it’s wildly thick because you used a very big potato, just water it down with some more stock.

Mmmmmm.

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Celery Soup

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1 head celery, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 medium potato, diced
500 ml chicken or vegetable stock
1 tbsp salted butter
salt and pepper
cream (optional)

Melt the butter and a drizzle of oil in a large saucepan.
Add the onion and saute for 5-10 mins until colouring.
Add the celery, stir to combine.
Add the potato, stir to combine, saute until the veg is hot and beginning to look like it might soften sometime soon.
Season with salt and white pepper.

Stir in the stock.
Cover and cook until the vegetables are soft. Check at 30 mins.

Liquidise and serve or freeze. It freezes very well.
Drizzle a little cream to serve, if you wish. If you want to keep it low calorie, don’t bother – it can stand on its own two feet!

I so nearly called this Pig, Pea and Parmesan Pappardelle – in the interests of alliteration, of course – but to give it a comedy title would detract from this quick, easy and utterly delicious pasta recipe.

Pappardelle is an odd one, in my opinion. All pasta has the potential to be very filling, but pappardelle takes that to new heights; therefore, I urge you not to give each person 100g dried pasta as a portion – well, of course you can, but expect to have some left uneaten. Pasta, bacon, sweet peas (peas that are sweet, not the flowers – that might be all aroma and no flavour), parmesan and wilting, peppery watercress, bound together by creme fraiche. Let’s get to it.

These are the ingredients I used. You may note that I used reduced fat Creme Fraiche out of interest as much as anything. I’m still a bit on the fence about it because it’s significantly sharper than normal Creme Fraiche which has the right amount of twang for me. In the past, I’ve used normal Creme Fraiche or even double cream (although I was much meaner with it because it was so rich):

I had a bag of Marks and Spencer’s saffron pappardelle in the larder so I used that – jolly nice too! See how the saffron is rolled through it – if you’re not visiting M&S any time soon, it’s no issue; normal pappardelle is just as good – it’s what I normally use.

Bring a large pan of well salted water to the boil and add the pasta, cooking as per the packet instructions.

3 minutes before the end of its cooking time, you add the frozen peas, bring back up to the boil and boil for the additional 3 minutes, but in the meantime…
In a saute pan, dry fry the bacon pieces until crisp and well coloured. Drain off excess bacon grease if it has rendered more than you want to eat.

3 minutes left to go on the pasta, so chuck in the frozen peas

Once the pasta and peas are cooked, take 3 dessert spoons of the cooking liquid out and drain them.
Add the cooking liquid, peas and pasta to the bacon and turn to combine.

Add the watercress (use rocket if you prefer it. I don’t …blech)

Then the creme fraiche and parmesan. Check seasoning – salt and black pepper.

Stir and turn the pasta around until the watercress has wilted, the cheese melted and it has all come together as a cohesive dressing on the pasta.

Serve onto warmed platters/bowls and serve with extra parmesan grated over the top.

Lovely and as easy as… pasta.

Bacon, Parmesan and Pea Pappardelle

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160g Pappardelle (try M&S’ saffron pappardelle if you get the chance)
200g bacon pieces or lardons
200g (1½ cups) frozen peas
100g watercress, torn or chopped if desired (you could use rocket instead, if you like it)
50g   (1½ cups)  Freshly grated Parmesan (plus extra for serving)
200g  Creme Fraiche, reduced fat (or use normal Creme Fraiche, or Sour Cream or double cream)

Bring a large pan of well salted water to the boil and add the pasta. 3 minutes before the end of its cooking time, add the frozen peas, bring back up to the boil and boil for the additional 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a saute pan, dry fry the bacon pieces until crisp and well coloured. Drain off excess bacon grease if it has rendered more than you want to eat.

Once the pasta and peas are cooked, take 3 dessert spoons of the cooking liquid out and drain them.
Add the cooking liquid, peas and pasta to the bacon and turn to combine.
Add the watercress, creme fraiche and parmesan. Check seasoning – salt and black pepper.

Stir and turn the pasta around until the watercress has wilted, the cheese melted and it has all come together as a cohesive dressing on the pasta.

Serve onto warmed platters/bowls and serve with extra parmesan grated over the top.